http://www.typeupsidedown.com/

http://www.typeupsidedown.com/

Remember the Children

The Best Book Ever

Victims of Child Abuse Are Champions

A Poem of Child Abuse

The Secret

The worse thing about abuse is that you aren't supposed to tell anyone. The abuser makes it known that telling someone about what is going on will result in some kind of pay back. For me, I was threatened with being locked up in a mental institution and noone believing me if I told. As a kid, I believed this in fact would be the case. My family was outstanding citizens in the community, so why would anyone believe me. I hid the bruises from my teachers, and made excuses to avoid gym. The bruises were my secret, and I feared the world would find out. I protected my mom because I felt it was all my fault. If I could only be a better kid, I wouldn't be beat. I believed this because it is what I was told, almost everyday. I finally shared my secret when I was about to graduate from highschool. I told a teacher that I admired. I remember the stammering words as they fell out of my mouth. I couldn't believe I told. I waited for my teacher's disapproval, but instead recieved a big hug. She actually believed me, and this would be my first step to living. I feared she would tell others, and my family would find out. But, she left that up to me. I decided to leave home right before graduation, hiding at my teacher's house. I was afraid of killing myself before I reached 18. I had all I could take. I was almost ready to be on my own, free from the abuse. I managed to stay hidden until I graduated. My family showed up on graduation day, and I shook as I caught them in the corner of my eye. As I received my diploma, I felt guilty for telling on my family. That sick, twisted voice inside kept telling me it was all my fault. I returned back home following my graduation night. My freedom was gone, and the abuse even worse than before. Why would I go back? Only those that have been through the cycle of abuse can understand. I felt I had to, I knew no better. But, I did have the memories of those few days of freedom in my mind. I finally left for good a few months later to go to college. As stated before in another blog, I thought it would all be left behind when I left, but I was wrong. I had to work through all the garbage that had been a part of my life for so long. I had to learn to live.

Emotional Abuse-What it Does to You

This video echoes what is in my heart. Emotional abuse for me was worse than being hit. Words seem to hit harder, leaving more damage. It may be hidden, but believe me it is there, for a lifetime. Not feeling good enough has been a constant struggle for me. I do daily affirmations to try to counteract these negative thoughts.